Action, protest, campaigns, demos and issues magazine features, photos, articles, stories photos of London, New York, Wales, England and photography features music, parties, clubs, events, records, releases drug information, harm reduction, no-nonsense guide punch a celebrity football, features, issues, cardiff city games, useless games and diversions technical info, web authoring, reviews and features site news, updates and urban75 blog urban75 community news and events urban75 bulletin boards join the chatroom search urban75 back to urban75 homepage
London features, photos, history, articles New York features, photos, history, articles Brixton features, photos, history, articles panoramas, 360 degree vistas, London, New York, Wales, England Offline London club night festival reports, photos, features and articles urban75 sitemap and page listing about us, info, FAQs, copyright join our mailing list for updates and news contact urban75
punch! click here for homepage punch archive 
more slapees

your votes
weird ones


Check out our huge, ever growing punch archive!

Lars Ulrich - Metallica
As if being a shortarse dummer in a decidedly wank metal band wasn't enough, the bastard has now said that he is 'elated' at the closure of Napster. With his smug grin, annoying accent and vile brand of Metallicapitalism he is truly deserving of a kick ass metal mutha of a slapping.
Jamie Ashley

s club7
have you ever seen such a pathetic mish- mash of blatantly commercialised talentless stereotypical teeny boppers.what's more is that they tell the poor brainwashed kids that 'they're a band, they play music' if wastes of space like this are the bands of the future then someone pass me a gun, soon.

Baroness Young
This woman deserves a major SLAP for her significant part in wrecking the plans of an elected government to revoke the despicable 'Section 28'. She sinks to depths of bigotry, hatred and discrimination previously only reached by Margaret Thatcher. She is truly an evil woman whose place in hell is assured. Until then, a virtual slap will have to do.

Terrorists in the Middle East
These People are fighting over stupid bull shit! 'This land is ours, No its ours!' Who the fuck cares what country owns it! Its not going to change a fucking thing! And further more, why the hell do you stupid fucks want to kill innocent people for it just because they live in a certain country?!! IT HASN'T GOTTEN YOU ANY DAMN WHERE!!! These people are stupid, racist, serial killers! TWATS!!!! If they could just share the land and not be so fucking selfish, they could get a lot farther. But in stead they want to kill innocent bystanders to make a point! GET THE FUCK OVER IT PEOPLE!!! Matt, NY

Britney Spears
I'm sorry, but this overly made-up little brat is giving women a bad name. She really deserves to be 'hit one more time...' in the face! Oh yes...and she butchered the Rolling Stones' 'Satisfaction' with bubblegum pop. Sounds like a reason to me...


For being who he is; a misogynistic, homophobic, redneck motherfucker who uses the oh so cliched 'i had such a crappy childhood' and 'i keep it real' bullshit to justify his rant. Someone should honestly whoop his ass and knock some sense into those two brain cells he has.
Avinash Gavai

Frank Dobson
He is a self centred, bearded, tosser who craves the position of London mayor for his own self image, he needs to be shot at close range in the face with a diarrhoea gun. Every time he opens his mouth, venomous crap pours out mainly directed at Ken Livingstone and it is only fair that he should be slapped daft, even more silly than he really is!
Nolan Metcalfe

Bill Gates
This capatilist twat making millions dominating the 'free market' has now started to get his green fingers on images of the worlds endangered and extinct species. Building a imaging bank that will in the future be our only memories and proof that these species existed!! He is sitting on fucking billons of dollars, so instead of actually helping these species with a chance of survival he just goes and buys them. If they become valuable in the future (which they no doubt will) and this little slimmy fuck starts to make money out of them, then we all know we are in serious trouble, and we should all line up outside his house and each give him a big fucking slap round the face, actually bring the base ball bats what the fuck!!!!

William Hague
His ridiculous ideas that anyone caught with drugs on them in a 400m radius of a school should be arrested under suspicion of dealing to schoolkids. The big bald fuckwit.
james kidd firebong17@hotmail

Jerry Falwell
Jerry Falwell is a greedy, self-righteous, hateful fuck-stick, and I can't believe you don't already have his chubby, triple- chinned pie-hole in the slapping gallery. Mr. Falwell lives to condemn and place judgement on anyone that doesn't agree with his philosophy. He is the reincarnation of the most ancient hatred caused by religious domination.


John Howard (Aust Prime Minister)
Because he's alive and because this flabby lipped, international embarrassment has single handedly put Australia back to the 1950s in three short years, complete with women at home behind picket fences and people with white skin everywhere pledging allegiance to a Queen we no longer need. Oh that he be hit and hit and bloody belted about his bespectacled, stumpy, monkey arsed face with a single mother's pension card. S. G. O'Brien

Graham Norton
A 'John Inman' wannabee who minces around the internet giving 'ooh matron' glances whenever he sees something that might be deemed to be of a sexual nature. Take him outside, shoot him and eat him.

John Howard (Aus' primeminister)
For trying to justify GST Tax on top of Luxury Tax on Tampons and womens hygeine products. Actually, slap him in the mush with a tampon.

John Presscot
Ever increasing Petrol And Diesel Prices. He dictates that US the UK public should drive around in Shoe boxes while He rolls around in a nice Petrol drinking monster of a Jag.

boyzone (and any boy bands)
They are poisoning the music industry, and preying on the piggy banks of fickle young girls with their stupid fuckin lullabies. They copy nearly all their songs, or have them written for them. They get much more credit for their crap than decent bands get for good music

Pat Robertson
He bilks people of their money in the name of God and he spreads messages of hate regarding single mothers, homosexuals and immigrants. He tries to instill fear and hate in people so he can push his agenda through Congress. He's nothing more than a money-grubbing capitalist with a right-wing agenda to make himself richer!! He should be slapped about the head and shoulders until he's unrecognizable.


english backpackers
in an effort to export the high culture of south birmingham to the globe, old dart has sent truckloads of pimply, gawky, four-foot- three lager louts to all the corners of the world (but mostly sydney)to sing crap football songs and complain about the chocolate. They spend their time working in poorly paid office jobs and raving about how 'lundun' is the centre of the world. Most are stunned when the see sun for the first time, let alone another country that functions oh-so-much better than england whose peak period in history was the aptly named dark ages. we preferred it when you sent your convicts - at least they had some soul.

Tara Palmer-Tompinkson
Have you ever read her column? She reckons she's some kind of a goddess just because Daddy gives her more pocket money than most people earn in a year. She needs a good slapping just to welcome her to the real world- she's sooo naive!
Laura C Kieran@strayduck_com


The badly spelling punchee nominators
The wankers they are so overwhelmed with their rants, their brief pseudo-orgasmic bursts of rage, that they lose all basic motor control, most of their upper brain functions and so revert they to a level on a par with the average Sun reader. This is the problem with democracy, assholes like that get rights.

jörg haider (austria)
because this nazi bastard makes me be ashame for being austrian and forces me to stay in edinburgh (that is the good side of it)
ingo ,

Jesse Jackson
He is a media hog, chasing any and every story that has to do with a black issue in the country. He'll go anywhere he can to get his face on tv or in a newspaper. He needs to get a life and quit making things worse for everyone. If we all start punching him, maybe he'll wake up to reality. Let us at him.

Robbie Williams
He is a cheezy, chirping, northern cunt who has somehow managed to acheive credibility despite his blatent lack of tallent. The songs written for him are unoriginal and if it wasn't for a huge amount of marketing and sexualy frustrated teenage girls we wouldn't have to endure him. If I walked past him in the streets then my impulsive reaction would be to flatten his cheeky face and to repeatedly kick him untill he was unable to sing no more. I would not be responsible for my actions as they would be the cause of a natural reflex. He is such an irritating fuck-wit.
Nick Ravenscroft.

Maggie Thatcher
Her intransigent, idiotic policies came close to bankrupting England. Furthermore her arrogance and stupidity made her the best recruiting officer the Provisional IRA ever knew. In the words of a wise Australian (Kevin Bloody Wilson) 'Maggie what you did for England, I would like to do to you.'


Geri Haliwell (ex Ginger Spice)
I`m sick of seeing and hearing this talentless bitch whining on about world suffering and any thing else she can latch on to to give her air time. She should end all our suffering and fuck off back down the hole she came from. Getting your tits out and singing in a shitty over rated girl band doesn`t qualify you as an ambassador of peace.

Pipsqueak voiced Joe Pasquali
Unquestionably a prime candidate for a hard slap upside the head Pasquali is perhaps the most irritating 'star' television has spawned. Humour that would seem awquard at a fucking Butlins camp designed for lowbrow saturday night viewing, pathetic and well worth a slap I'm sure you'll agree.

Gen. Barry McCaffrey 'Drug Czar'

He is a narrow minded piece of shit. WTF? Eveyone and their mom can drink themselves blind, but we can't enjoy the virtues of the good herb? He is a fuckin NAZI. How dare anyone tell us what we can or cannot put in our bodies. Fuck you McCaffrey! Get a Labotomy. Land of the Free? Not Fuckin likely. Why do all of these useless assholes think they can run everyones lives??? Don't get me started....
Dan M ;

William Hague
Because he's a total and utter nobody who's done nothing in his life outside of politics, unless you count a spell of employment with that godawful 'consultants' firm McKinsey as 'doing something'. This mostrous twat thinks that being a university debating champ makes him fit to lead the country. The only good thing about him is he's leading the Tory party into oblivion.

Howard Stern: Radio 'personality'
Tired of pompous egocentric asshole wanna- be-rockstars-but-can't- shut-up-long- enough- to-learn-to- play-the-drums clogging up the airwaves.


victoria beckham
she's an anorexic, tacky, essex girl who thinks she can recreate herself into some kind of Diana figure so she needs a good slapping to wake herself up

Cliff Richard
The most heinous of crimes... The Christmas Single!!!, you know the one, The Lords Prayer to tune of Auld Lang Syne I sentence him to be slapped until my hand aches :)
James Hall (

George Bush Jr., Texas Gov.& U.S. Prez
Because Jr. is an ignorant, hypocritical ill tempered fool who has a frighteningly realistic chance of becoming the next U.S. virtue of submitting the highest bid. His 'compassionate conservatisim' apparantly doesn't apply to gays...or even the passage of the Hate Crime bill, despite the horrific KKK dragging death of an African American in Texas only 1 year ago. Actually, George Sr. & Barbara oughtta get a few smacks themselves for spawning such a worm!
Lisa, in San Antonio

United States Government
We are a rich, wonderful country! Yet, our senior citazins go without medicine because they can't afford it, our children go without healthcare because their parents can't afford insurance, we have fundraisers to raise enough to pay a life saving medical prodedure that insurance won't cover....Yet we spend millions on foolish expenditures that neither help our children or our elderly!!! Go figure!

Tamara Beckwith
Quite possibly the most nauseating, distasteful, socially inept, repugnant character I have ever had the misfortune to lay my eyes on. Any man, woman or beast that has visibly made it to the forefront of televisual presenting (well er, Casting Couch) by the sheer size and weight of their pockets simply appalls the general public. I suggest that all broadcasters that should happen upon this note forcibly remove this overpaid, over-hyped slimy cockroach from their premises forthwith. Similarly, any restauranteurs worth their salt should spike her meals and wheel her off to the Betty Ford Clinic just as the creme brulees are served. The public should stand up to these social parasites. Ban Tamara Beckwith. NOW! I beseech you.
Scott (editor's choice!) top

michael douglas
for stealing welsh beauty, Catherine Zeta Jones, and threatening to marry her. which the fat old bastard has now gone and done. twat.

Carol Smillie (Changing Rooms etc.)
The cheeky grin, the huge profits from wrecking peoples houses with her team of MDF-wielding mentalists whilst she blatantly is only there to lead poor Handy Andy on with her teasing cheeky-grinning ways. Also the ability to sound like she's reading an autocue when she's in the middle of an exotic holiday location and the fact she's in every TV show except the ones with Chris Tarrant or Carol Bleedin' Vorderman. At least Carol acts intelligent enough to be on Tomorrow's World.

The British Board of Film Classification
, also known as the British Board of Facist Censorship treats the people of this nation as utter morons who can't decide for themselves what they should and shouldn't watch. They cut such benign films as The Matrix and The World is Not Enough. They ruin good films like Pulp Fiction, Kids & Fight Club and spend all day quarrelling over whether someone's dick is more erect than Cornwall. Sad. If all the stuff they cut really is harmful, then the censors themselves must be irrevocably harmed by now and completely unable to make reasonable decisions. Get rid of all those Daily Mail readers and replace 'em with people with brains.
Daniel Stone

the Blair Witch Kids
If a reason is really needed, then it's because unscripted wanderings and flith- strewn dialogue do not constitute a cinematographic masterpiece. What really kills me is that there at least a handful of people who thought this movie was a good idea in the first place. Maybe I'll hire a kid with a video camera to follow me around as I shop for groceries, and I can smack him around when I discover that the avocados are a bit mushy. It would be at least as interesting, and with a good promo scheme, I should gross at least a few mils. Ah, modern drama...

Conrad Black
Ultra right-wing domination of media and contempt for workers rights.


Britney Spears
She sets a bad example for young girls by getting breast implants.. GEEZ! She's only a young girl herself!! That sends a message that to have self-confidence you have to have big boobs and be beautiful... she is absolutely horrible!
Mary Ann

Ricky Martin
All he sings is happy horse shit and i swear if i hear one more of his fucking songs i'm going to grab a gun and go kill him myself

Carol Vorderman
She's talking over t.v everywhere HELP!!!! before she becomes the next bond girl

Mark Lamarr
Because he is a pompous, self-opinionated, misogynistic, jumped-up arse hole; who obviously is under the mis-conception that he is hilarious and for some reason the powers that be at the BBC would seem to agree. Whats going on?

r'n'b artists
What the fuck is wrong with these people? Why can't they hold a note without warbling all over the fucking shop? Mariah fucking Carey... I mean, attempting to cover a classic Harry Nillson track is bad enough but changing key 12 bloody times on the last word of 'I can't live'. I'd give her the biggest fucking slap of her life... and any bastard that buys this shit.
Pete... David Baddiel
here? Self-pitying rich kid who makes a fortune out of half- arsed laddish commentary and then whines in the Guardian about how you can't be offensive to anyone anymore. How about punching in the face, David, is that offensive enough for you?
Ed Horton

Robbie Williams
For getting two million quid advertising Pepsi when he already has so much money he has to be sedated on a regular basis just to stop him going insane with glee. Oh, and for producing bland garbage and pretending it's art. I'd like to insert a plastic fork half an inch inside his left eyeball.

'Rev.' Fred Phelps
If you have the patience to read thru a Kansas legal document, there's a biography of this child-molesting, wife-beating, Fagan, fag-obsessed all around pain in the ass here

Steve Case
I'd like to give a real virtual wallop to Steve Case. He has run the worst Internet Service Provider ever created. Unlimited service? Never! Try telling that to someone who has tried to download a file, and had their connection killed right smack in the middle. Email easy to use? It most certainly is...especially for peddlers of porno, kiddie porn, and all sorts of junk. Secure? Certainly! Hackers abound on AOL, and can rest assured nothing will be done to stop them. So I vote for Steve Case, Chief Executive Officer of America Online, to receive a slap in the face!
Kieran O'Hagan

Hilary Clinton
For those of you not in the US. She is the presidents wife She wants to run for senator of New York State meanwhile she has never lived a day of her life here. She claims she os going on listening to tours to learn of issues that affect New Yorkers. She says that many New Yorkers are jewish, so she announces that she has Jewish Blood in her. The New York Yankees win the world series, so she announces she is a life long Yankee fan. Her husband the president announces that he will grant clemency to imprisoned members of the FALN (the Puerto Rican independence movement, that killed and injured many people in the 70's and 80's), he never explained the reason why he freed them but everyone knows it was to give Hillary Clinton the support of Puerto Ricans. At first Hillary Clinton supported it militantly, but when she finds out even Puerto Ricans dont like the idea, she claims she hates it too. We need to smack this carpetbagger away from New York State or better yet, the enitre Hemisphere


ally mcbeal
stop fucking whinging!

Zoe Ball, Lara Croft and the Spice Girls
They're all such airheads and yet they're supposed to be 'role models' or, the new catch phrase, 'strong women'! We've got an ugly loudmouth 'it' girl, a thing from a video game (from a GAME, everyone! Not a real person!) with a sharp blocky body and massive head, and a bunch of manufactured idiots whose combined brain power couldn't make a very small spark - and we women are supposed to admire them?! On a cold day in Hell!

jim davidson
This man needs more than just a slap, how about a rusty chainmail fist up his freckled ginger arse (no offesnse to redheads intended). How the BBC can jusify letting an openly irresponsible racist, women hating ignorant facist present family television is beyond me I sugest we all right to the BBC and ask them to explain where they stand everytime jim abuses another women or degrades another minority group. After all it is our licese fee thats keeping his alchoholicism excuse going. Go on form a fist and.....whoooosh.

Alan Titchmarsh
wo needs reasons, Daphne the cow doesn't. Mr bloody family values, with rose bushes. smug twat visit Daphnes web site to join the league again Titchmarsh

Corporate Toads
You can take your distorted values and your profit margins and jam them up your materialistic, sleazy, cloned, company branded, yuppy arses (If you're not too busy "climbing the ladder" to your empty goals and you can get all the money out of your back pockets


Chris Evans
And the audience of TFI Friday for being a bunch of laugh-at-anything, so long as it's not funny bunch of freaks. If the ginger tosser really wants to entertain an audience perhaps he could play a game of russian roulette with say Carol Vorderman,Jim Twat Davidson and Zoe Ball.

a rollerblader
Every day I see these fruit booting assholes doin "soul grinds" with their size 60 pants hanging over their blades ride down the street. All of the dickheads are always whining about being given shit from us skaters. Well we've been takin shit from cops for years and years and we're still skatin so you need to get socked up like a little poser gimp ass bitch.

Neil Hamilton's wife
She is/was the power behind this corrupt bastard, and therefore deserves to be slapped just as much as he does. The pair of them thought that they could take the piss out the british public by entering politics and getting as much cash as possible out of it. I hope they enjoy living in a council house for the rest of their lives. Congrats to Mr Al fayed. It was a job well done!

Ricky Martin
If I hear "Livin La Vida Loca" one more f*cking time, I'm going to lose it


Want more? Click here!

Legal disclaimer: all opinions stated belong to the individual authors and are not those of urban75.

back to homepage back top next

u75 home - news/blog - action - mag - photos - tech - rave - drugs - punch - football - brixton - london - new york - useless - boards - search - help/FAQs - copyright - u75 design - contact - donate