Welcome to the archive These are the best efforts we got. Some aren't that bad either...

"Oh Maggie I wished I'd never seen you faaace !!!" Val vcs@frenett.globalnet.co.uk "Look at my new toy Norma !!!" Adam Griffiths a_griff_01@hotmail.com "Radiant John Major accepts the Adam Smith Institute Peace Prize on behalf of ex-Presidant Suharto, who has had to stay home to spend more time with his money." tim timtomtam@hotmail.com I've been told this is the way Bill Clinton gets interest from women in his office. Heather MacD. heather.weeble@pei.sympatico.ca "John Major begins training for his new position as Trafalgar Square's Pigeon Control Officer." Deacon Maccubbin lambda@clark.ne "Yes Maggie, today I am a man!" Bill Bergren billygg@earthlink.net "No draft dodging world leaders here!" David Pincus dpincus@erols.com "OK,who stole my pants?" kjcoop@tomatoweb.com "die, hanson, die!!!!!!! " chris alexander ralex@juno "If you want a job done right, you just have to do it yourself.Which way is Iraq anyway?" Linda Bartoli bartoli@msn.com "I bet that if I hold this gun long enough some knob will use the pic for a caption competition" jonwild@retinaldisplays.com "So President Yeltsin said to me, "John, when those left-wingers barricade themselves inside your Parliament building you gotta do what I did -- get yourself some damn fine guns and tanks. Like this one: AK-47, thirty-round clip, single-shot or full-auto, even a conscript can't go wrong. It's the dog's bollocks. To you, old son, a hundred dollars apiece. Hard currency, no questions asked." I was not inconsiderably impressed. We're going back for the T-80s this very weekend, as soon as Norma can find her cheque book" Rich Woods rich@chelt.ac.uk "Don't you dare take one more step towards my house Tony !" Philip.brooks@unn.ac.uk "If I hear the phrase "Tory wanker" *one* *more* *time*..". T. S. Woodward prodigal-one@juno.com "For the last time, I do NOT sound like Mr. Bean!" Nate Patrin patr0044@tc.umn.edu "Well, anyone got a better ideas? I've run out of political creativity" rrriot@pulse.nl "Norma, I said "No more peas!" Adam Johnson ajohnson@atml.co.uk "one last time. Please get off my lawn." Shannon Harkins shan@epix.net "How do you play this thing?" Jurgens nodig@aol.com John Major shows Norma his new Weapon colin gunn cm3cg@scms.rgu.ac.uk "Must....kill....Tony...." e-mail jc9728a@american.edu "You lookin at ME? Oh dear....." Duncan Hall 9547134@sms.ed.ac.uk "Are we having this TV debate or what?" Ian Stewart stewart.ian@olsy.co.uk " Can I hit a Spice Girl with this?" . john smith smith@gaycool.com "I AM tougher than Maggie............ Really"! Dan Novak DanNovak@mad.scientist.com "Any third world countries out there wanna buy a gun?" Stew e-mail S.Smith@ug.ee.ed.ac.uk "My hands are NOT brandishing an assault rifle - that's a gross distortion of the facts by the left-wing BBC. In fact, and in not inconsiderable real terms, it is a fluffy, privatised bunny rabbit." Nick Mailer koekie@koekie.org.uk "C'mon, it's a great gift!" The John Major Assault Rifle tm. FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY. George Evans Evans@brook.edu "THIS WILL get unemployment Down!" the hooded claw. john@tones.demon.co.uk "PM John Major is seen here sporting the latest in spring clothing accesories. With his semi- automatic he is sure to make waves whether he's debating a bill, of just walking down the street." Justin Ferguson justinf@beaver-river2.moric.org "Vote Conservative, and you too can live in the free world!" Keira Dempsey kmd3@aber.ac.uk "This is better! Why bother with the 'shop a benefit cheat' phoneline when we can have the much more fun 'shoot a benefit cheat' phoneline instead." Dave Sarus@Sarus.Sonnet.Co.Uk Madame Speaker, if the honourable leader of the opposition wishes to step outside for a free and frank exchange of views, I'm sure that we can settle this disagreement without further delay... dodger@2600.com ..and introducing new legislation designed to assist honest roadbuilders in gently persuading protestors to move along. Dave Wright. sarus@sarus.sonnet.co.uk "Don't call me grey.Alright." uncle@dial.pipex.com Here's Johnny! trevor.may@zetnet.co.uk "trust me, i'm a politician, aaaahhh ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaa heh heh heh (dribble)" martin frost frost2@euro.apple.com So what end should i shove up my arse? Neill Hope 87013142@student.napier.ac.uk Bastards. If you want me out of No.10 you'll have to bring me out in a box. Yeeehah! (as heard on 2nd MAY 1997) stew S.Smith@ug.ee.ed.ac.uk The new Chelsea marksman has a familiar look about him, what do you think Trevor ? Dave "Rumblefish" Colbran colbrad@sbu.ac.uk Norma ... Daddy's Home. Mike mriley@mail.bogo.co.uk "This'll secure the majority!!!" paul.hodgson@info-com.com "So if we can't sell landmines any more how about these?" from:Mike mriley@mail.bogo.co.uk "If I not gonna have a job in the summer - perhaps I could start up a new cadets group - Ken, Michael, Douglas... d'you wanna be in my new club?" sarah.moore@virgin.net "New age travellers. Not in this age. Not in any age..." Steve tim@brentford.i-way.co.uk >> Now let me at Tony Blair!

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