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These are the best efforts we got. Some aren't that bad either...
"Oh Maggie I wished I'd never seen you faaace !!!" Val email@example.com
"Look at my new toy Norma !!!" Adam Griffiths firstname.lastname@example.org
"Radiant John Major accepts the Adam Smith Institute Peace Prize on behalf of ex-Presidant Suharto, who has had to stay home to spend more time with his money." tim email@example.com
I've been told this is the way Bill Clinton gets interest from women in his office.
Heather MacD. firstname.lastname@example.org
"John Major begins training for his new position as Trafalgar Square's Pigeon Control Officer."
Deacon Maccubbin email@example.com
"Yes Maggie, today I am a man!"
Bill Bergren firstname.lastname@example.org
"No draft dodging world leaders here!"
David Pincus email@example.com
"OK,who stole my pants?"
"die, hanson, die!!!!!!! "
chris alexander ralex@juno
"If you want a job done right, you just have to do it yourself.Which way is Iraq anyway?"
Linda Bartoli firstname.lastname@example.org
"I bet that if I hold this gun long enough some knob will use the pic for a caption competition"
"So President Yeltsin said to me, "John, when those left-wingers barricade themselves inside your Parliament building you gotta do what I did -- get yourself some damn fine guns and tanks. Like this one: AK-47, thirty-round clip, single-shot or full-auto, even a conscript can't go wrong. It's the dog's bollocks. To you, old son, a hundred dollars apiece. Hard currency, no questions asked." I was not inconsiderably impressed. We're going back for the T-80s this very weekend, as soon as Norma can find her cheque book"
Rich Woods email@example.com
"Don't you dare take one more step towards my house Tony !"
"If I hear the phrase "Tory wanker" *one* *more* *time*..".
T. S. Woodward firstname.lastname@example.org
"For the last time, I do NOT sound like Mr. Bean!"
Nate Patrin email@example.com
"Well, anyone got a better ideas? I've run out of political creativity"
"Norma, I said "No more peas!"
Adam Johnson firstname.lastname@example.org
"one last time. Please get off my lawn."
Shannon Harkins email@example.com
"How do you play this thing?"
John Major shows Norma his new Weapon
colin gunn firstname.lastname@example.org
"Must....kill....Tony...." e-mail email@example.com
"You lookin at ME? Oh dear....." Duncan Hall firstname.lastname@example.org
"Are we having this TV debate or what?"
Ian Stewart email@example.com
" Can I hit a Spice Girl with this?" .
john smith firstname.lastname@example.org
"I AM tougher than Maggie............ Really"!
Dan Novak DanNovak@mad.scientist.com
"Any third world countries out there wanna buy a gun?"
Stew e-mail S.Smith@ug.ee.ed.ac.uk
"My hands are NOT brandishing an assault rifle - that's a gross distortion of the facts by the left-wing BBC. In fact, and in not inconsiderable real terms, it is a fluffy, privatised bunny rabbit."
Nick Mailer email@example.com
"C'mon, it's a great gift!" The John Major Assault Rifle tm. FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY.
George Evans Evans@brook.edu
"THIS WILL get unemployment Down!"
the hooded claw. firstname.lastname@example.org
"PM John Major is seen here sporting the latest in spring clothing accesories. With his semi- automatic he is sure to make waves whether he's debating a bill, of just walking down the street."
Justin Ferguson email@example.com
"Vote Conservative, and you too can live in the free world!"
Keira Dempsey firstname.lastname@example.org
"This is better! Why bother with the 'shop a benefit cheat' phoneline when we can have the much more fun 'shoot a benefit cheat' phoneline instead."
Madame Speaker, if the honourable leader of the opposition wishes to step outside for a free and frank exchange of views, I'm sure that we can settle this disagreement without further delay...
..and introducing new legislation designed to assist honest roadbuilders in gently persuading protestors to move along.
Dave Wright. email@example.com
"Don't call me grey.Alright."
"trust me, i'm a politician, aaaahhh ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaa heh heh heh (dribble)"
martin frost firstname.lastname@example.org
So what end should i shove up my arse?
Neill Hope email@example.com
Bastards. If you want me out of No.10 you'll have to bring me out in a box. Yeeehah! (as heard on 2nd MAY 1997)
The new Chelsea marksman has a familiar look about him, what do you think Trevor ?
Dave "Rumblefish" Colbran firstname.lastname@example.org
Norma ... Daddy's Home.
"This'll secure the majority!!!"
"So if we can't sell landmines any more how about these?"
"If I not gonna have a job in the summer - perhaps I could start up a new cadets group - Ken, Michael, Douglas... d'you wanna be in my new club?"
"New age travellers. Not in this age. Not in any age..."
>> Now let me at Tony Blair!
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